Here are some thoughts that may bring a mid-week chuckle. Many have an engineering or construction twist.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says ‘Dam!’

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

A grenade thrown in to a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.’

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The other says ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.

There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Thanks to whoever developed this list of puns. It has been flitting about on the internet and I saw it on an ENR blog.