My nephew John works as a leadman, and sometimes foreman, for a paving company. He loves practical jokes (must be genetic) and played a real doozy this past week. A buddy of his was real worried one day because his back hurt the previous night and he’d taken a painkiller from his Mom. He worried that the random drug test van might pull up and then he’d test positive for a drug with no prescription.

John saw the opportunity and pounced on it. He mentioned that someone called from the office and warned that the drug testing van, in fact, was on the way to their jobsite. The worried guy freaked, debating if he should hide on the jobsite or just go home. They convinced him these options weren’t practical.

John had a better idea. He’d heard of a guy who had a bag of clean urine taped to his thigh, so when he went in to give the sample, he could tap from that bag. Being a good friend, John then offered to provide such a bag of urine. When John handed the worried guy the quite full bag of urine, he warned him that he had to keep all of it taped to his thigh, because the testers also checked the temperature of the sample and having this much would keep the temperature up.

They then gave him a roll of Duct tape and sent him into the portable toilet. Since the worried guy is also a real hairy guy, the thought of all that Duct tape on his thighs made it even funnier (kindness isn’t the first attribute that springs to mind on most construction sites). Now word had spread around the site, so lots of people were chucking and waiting for the worried guy to come out of the toilet, walking a little funny, with a bulge in his pants.

He came out walking normally, but a closer look showed wetness all down his pant legs. Seems the pee bag broke as he was taping it on. Isn’t it wonderful to have good friends?

If you have any stories that might make me laugh (like the one above did) please post them in the Construction Knowledge Discussion Forum and try to win some of the prize money discussed below.